A Very Orange Halloween
by betweenstories
Summary: When Piper's teenage friends decide to spend the night in the Chapman family's creepy cottage, they get a little more than they bargained for. An AU holiday special!
1. Chapter 1

**What's Orange AND Black? Halloween. When Piper's teenage friends decide to spend the night in the Chapman family's creepy cottage, they get a little more than they bargained for.**

_Disclaimer: All characters are from the show Orange is the New Black and are owned by Jenji Kohan, Piper Kerman, et al. and I make no money by writing about them._

**A/N: Taking a break from my ongoing fic to bring you this spur-of-the-moment Halloween story. Not sure it'll actually be finished by midnight on the 31st, but once I got the idea I couldn't talk myself out of writing it. Apologies for any typos, I'm cranking this out in a hurry. Stay tuned for part 2, and please let me know what you think!**

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><p>It was a beautiful October afternoon, crisp and clear and full of promise. It was also one of those rare Octobers when Halloween falls on a Friday night, leaving teenagers free to enjoy the holiday festivities without having to wake up to a first-period exam the next day. With that prospect in mind, Piper Chapman was loading her weekend bag into the backseat of her car, feeling freer than she had since summer had ended.<p>

Senior year was supposed to be easy; the required classes were done by then, and most of Piper's friends had loaded up on electives taught by instructors known to give easy As; theatre, creative writing, that kind of thing. Kids with parents like the Chapmans, however, didn't get to end their high school career on an easy note. Piper was taking several advanced placement and college prep classes, leaving her little time to do anything other than study and write papers. This weekend, however, was different. Sensing the giddy anticipation of their students, the teachers had refrained from assigning much homework over Halloween. For once, Piper had an essay-free weekend in her sights.

"C'mon Pol! We have to leave now if we want to get there before dark!" She looked around in search of her best friend, who was now trudging down the walkway from her front door, swaying dangerously under the weight of her overstuffed backpack. "Wow, do you really need all that?" She asked, skeptically. "We're only going to be gone for one night."

"I like to be prepared for all possibilities," Polly said vaguely, setting her bag down next to the car. When Piper raised her eyebrows, Polly flashed her a grin. "I cleaned out my parents' liquor cabinet," she explained, smiling mischievously.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Just put it in the car so we can go!"

"What's the hurry?" Polly asked, heaving her bag into the backseat next to Piper's.

"I don't want to be driving around there in the dark. It's creepy."

"Oh, come on, Piper! You're being ridiculous about this." Polly climbed into the passenger seat, fumbling around for the seatbelt. "You've been there like every summer of your life. It's a vacation home, not a prison."

Biting her lip to keep from complaining about the unfairness of being called "ridiculous" about a completely legitimate concern, Piper started the car and backed out of Polly's driveway. They were bound for the Chapmans' country house, which was technically a cottage, but in actuality more like a small mansion. The family had been spending their summer vacations there since Piper was a kid, but the rest of the year the house remained empty except for the caretaker's hut at the edge of the property. Every August they would pack up, cover all the furniture in old sheets and plastic covers, and drive away, leaving the massive house to gather dust over the long New England winter.

This year, however, Piper had asked her parents if she and a few friends could spend a fall weekend at the cottage, without adult supervision. She'd never expected them to agree - the whole scheme was Polly's idea, and truthfully Piper was much less excited about it than her friend was. The cottage was extremely old, eccentric, and miles from the nearest town, and the idea of spending even one night alone out there was completely unnerving. But shockingly, Piper's parents had actually agreed to the plan. It was a _reward_, they told her, for all of her hard work in school. If she'd been given a choice, Piper's would have picked a very different kind of reward; concert tickets, maybe, or a new phone. But Polly had gotten her wish, and they were now en route to the country house where they would meet the rest of their friends and prepare for a weekend of unchaperoned debauchery. Her parents had tried to make her bring her brother Cal along, but at least she'd managed to argue her way out of _that_.

"I still can't believe your mom and dad agreed to this!" Polly gloated, as if she could read her friend's thoughts.

"Yeah," Piper agreed, darkly. "Me neither."

Polly pointedly ignored Piper's glum demeanor, keeping up a near constant stream of chatter for the first hour of the car ride. The sky began to cloud over as they drove, until fat, heavy drops started pelting the windshield. Rain definitely hadn't been in the forecast, and it did little to improve Piper's mood.

"Hey, who else is meeting us there?" Polly asked, when they'd reached the outskirts of the town nearest the cottage.

"I'm don't even know," Piper admitted. "My mom told Nicky's mom, so I know she'll be there. I told her to bring a friend or two." Piper and Nicky went to different schools, but their mother's were in the same social circle and had been forcing the girls into play dates since they were toddlers. Those mandatory hangouts were a thing of the past now that the girls were both nearly eighteen, but the two of them still met up at family dinners and parties. Nicky's mother seemed to think that Piper could be a civilizing influence on her daughter, who she considered to be wayward and unambitious, essentially the opposite of what Piper was raised to be. Still, the two girls got along okay. Nicky was vulgar and a smart-ass, two qualities that respectful and rule-abiding Piper genuinely admired.

They found the dirt road that led to the cottage; it meandered past cornfields and stretches of pasture before winding into an imposing forest patterned with the kind of twisting, gnarled trees that one expected to find between the pages of Grimm's darker fairytales.

"You were right," Polly said, admiringly. "This _is_ creepy. It's perfect! This is going to be the best Halloween!"

Piper maintained a skeptical silence.

At last the trees began to thin, and the road curved upward around a steep hill. The house was perfectly positioned on top, giving it a commanding view of the surrounding landscape. It was the only dwelling for miles. In the summer that was part of its charm, but in the cold, grey, fading light of the October evening, the effect was more intimidating than pleasing.

Piper pulled over and turned off the engine. It was raining pretty hard by now, and she and Polly unloaded their packpacks in a hurry to get out of downpour. They squelched across the muddy driveway, half-drenched by the time they reached the door. Piper produced the key and, with a feeling of mingled dread and excitement, opened the door.

The house was exactly as she'd left it nearly two months ago, but with a forlorn, neglected air. The furniture was draped in white dust covers, like so many ghosts rising out of the dark. She fumbled around for the light switch, thinking it would help dispel some of the gloom, but when she flicked it on she discovered that half the bulbs in the chandelier were burned out. "Of course," she muttered, irritated.

"Oh cheer up, I'm sure there are some spare bulbs around somewhere," Polly said encouragingly.

"Yeah. Hey, did you hear that?" She paused. The sound of tires churning through the gravel became gradually apparent. "That must be Nicky." That thought made her feel a little better. Sure, it was lonely to be in a huge house with only two people, but three or four would help liven things up.

When she returned to the doorway to watch Nicky pull up outside the house, however, she realized that the vehicle was filled to capacity. "A couple of friends" had apparently turned into a carful of people Piper had never met.

"Hey, Chapman!" The car doors opened and Nicky hailed her with a salute. "I thought we had the wrong address. This is like a fucking Stephen King novel, I can't believe your parents _like_ it here."

"Fuck off, Nicky, it's better than your stepdad's house in the Hamptons!"

"Don't remind me. Here, come out here and meet the gang!"

Grudgingly, Piper removed her sweatshirt to keep it dry and then stepped back out into the rain, with Polly following close behind. There were four other girls emerging from Nicky's car.

"Allow me to introduce you all to our gracious host," Nicky joked. "Piper Chapman. This is Lorna, Taystee, Poussey, and Vause."

There was a chorus of awkward hellos as the girls unloaded the car. Attempting to help, Piper reached for one of the bags and tugged on it at the exact moment another pair of hands grabbed the straps on the opposite side.

"Sorry!" Piper said quickly, glancing up to find a pair of green eyes staring at her through dark-framed glasses. "Um, you must be Vause?"

"Alex," the girl corrected.

"I'm-"

"Piper, yeah, I got that," Alex said with a sly grin. "Are you gonna give me my bag, or should we rock-paper-scissors for it?"

Piper withdrew her hand so fast she smacked it clumsily on the underside of the trunk. "Owww," she moaned, clutched her bruised fingers in the opposite hand and hopping up and down in pain.

"Was your fist clenched?" Alex asked.

"What?" Piper stopped bobbing around to stare at the dark-haired girl in confusion.

"I mean were you punching the car intentionally? Brute force generally qualifies as rock, but I guess it could have been scissors. I was gonna go with paper, so your answer is kind of important."

"Um," Piper said, blankly, finger still throbbing. "It was rock, I guess."

"Good. I win." Alex heaved the bag out of the trunk and headed for the front door, leaving Piper looking dumb-founded in her wake.

Everyone else was inside the house already, and Piper threw the empty trunk a mutinous glare, slamming it shut with more force than was necessary. When she turned toward the house she saw that Alex was still standing in the doorway, watching her closely. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, Piper slicked back her rain-soaked hair. Her t-shirt was clinging wetly to her skin, a fact that Alex had evidently noticed. Her gaze swept over Piper's drenched figure before settling on the blonde's face once more. They stared at each other through the curtain of falling rain, the dark-haired girl clearly unconcerned about getting caught checking Piper out. She arched one eyebrow deftly, waiting for Piper to follow her inside.

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><p>An hour later the girls had changed into dry clothes and spread themselves out in the living room. The place seemed more cheerful now that they'd pulled the dust covers off the furniture and tossed their bags haphazardly around the room. Candy wrappers already littered the floor, and they were passing a bottle of Polly's stolen liquor from hand to hand when Poussey let out a cry of excitement.<p>

"Yo, check this out!" She'd be rummaging through a trunk in the corner of the room, and was walking back to them with some kind of game board in her hand.

"I'm not playing Monopoly," Nicky warned, taking an impressive gulp of vodka. "Or Scrabble."

"Oooh, I love Scrabble!" Lorna said, beaming at Poussey.

"It's not fuckin' Scrabble," Poussey scoffed, setting the board down on the coffee table. It was etched with the letters of the alphabet, and the bottom was numbered one through zero. "It's a ouija board, yo! My grams hand one of these. It lets you speak with spirits and shit."

"Oh come on, you don't really believe in that crap?" Alex replied in a bored voice, running her finger through her hair.

"This is just like that TV show!" Lorna said excitedly. "You know, the one with the girls and then their grandmother dies, and they use the ouija board and turn into witches, and one of them can freeze time, and one of them is telephonetic?"

"You mean _telekinetic." _Polly corrected. "That show is fucking stupid. But spirits are real," she added, glaring at Alex. "Haven't you seen _Ghost Hunters_?"

"Oh, so _Charmed_ is stupid but _Ghost Hunters_ is fine?" Alex asked, eyebrows raised.

Piper cleared her throat loudly. She got the sense that Polly and Alex didn't like each other very much. "My parents definitely would not own a ouija board. It must have been here when they bought the house. I don't think we should mess with it."

"Oh come on! It'll be fun! What do you think, Tayst?" Poussey turned eagerly to her friend, who hesitated.

"I don't know, P. It's Halloween. You really want to go waking up ghosts and shit on _Halloween_?"

"Okay, now we _have_ to do it," Nicky said with conviction, beckoning for everyone to gather around the coffee table. "I've seen this in movies. We need a couple of people to hold the pointer. Piper, this is your house, so... give me your hand."

"I'm not sure-"

Nicky grabbed her hand impatiently, placing it on top of the little heart-shaped piece. Poussey placed two fingers on the pointer next to Piper's, and Nicky's completed the triangle.

"Everyone else has to hold hands, so we form a circle."

Everyone obeyed. Polly's eyes with wide with anticipation. Taystee was grinning at Poussey. Lorna looked nervous, and Alex looked skeptical.

"Aight, y'all got to focus your energy," Poussey commanded. Then, looking at the ceiling theatrically, she went on. "On this night, All Hallow's Eve, we call upon the spirits of this house to answer us. Is anyone there?"

The pointer began to move beneath their fingers. It slid slowly across the board toward the corner where the word "yes" was printed in tiny letters.

"You guys are moving it," Piper complained.

"Am not!" Nicky shot back, defensively.

"Shhh!" Poussey hushed them urgently. "What's your name?" She asked the theoretical spirit.

The pointer began to move again. R - E - G - I - N - A, it spelled.

"What. The fuck," Piper breathed, glaring at Nicky. "How did you know that?"

"Know what?"

"Regina was my great-great grandmother's name!"

"Shit," Taystee whispered next to her. "Shit, I told y'all this was a bad idea!"

But the pointer had begun to move again. Piper pressed her fingers down with all her might, trying to stop the planchette from moving, but it slid effortlessly across the board. B - A - S - E - M - E - N

Piper pulled her hand away abruptly, and the pointer stopped moving.

"This is stupid," she said loudly, glaring at Nicky and Poussey. "You guys are moving it. I'm not playing anymore."

"Piper, it wasn't us!" Nicky hissed. At that exact moment, a crack of thunder tore through the night, and then the lights went out.

There was a collective scream as the room turned pitch black. A flash of lightening illuminated their terrified faces, and then it was too dark to see anything.

"Jesus," Polly whispered."

"Lord have Mercy," Taystee echoed.

"You guys are bunch of wimps," Alex sneered. "I have a flashlight in my bag, hang on." She felt her way toward the sofa she'd propped her bag against. They heard the sound of the zipper moving, and then a thin beam of light clicked on. On the other side of the table, Polly and Lorna were also producing flashlights from their overnight bags.

"I told you," Polly said, clicking her light on and shining it pointedly at Piper. "I'm always prepared."

"The storm probably just tripped a breaker or something," Poussey theorized, reasonably. "The box is probably in the-"

"Basement," Piper finished, remembering the letters on the ouija board and feeling faint. "Nuh uh. No way. There are some candles in the kitchen, and firewood in the shed. We can just light those and then fix the power tomorrow."

"Piper, it's only like eight o'clock!" Nicky whined. "And I brought movies! How are we gonna watch The Ring with a TV that won't turn on?"

"I'll do it," Poussey said. "Someone hand me a light. C'mon, Taystee."

"What? Hell no! I've seen enough horror movies to know that the black girls who leave the group always die first! I'm staying right here."

"Piper, it's your house. You have to do it."

"Fuck off, Polly! This whole thing was your idea!"

"Alright, this is stupid," Alex said impatiently. "Piper and I will go check the circuit breaker. Lorna and Nicky, check the kitchen for candles and matches. Poussey and Taystee, you two can go get the firewood."

"Did you hear what I said about black girls dying first?" Taystee huffed.

"Fine! Then take Holly with you."

"It's Polly!"

"Whatever. C'mon Piper, let's go. We'll meet back here in a few minutes."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Ahhhhh I'm so glad you guys are liking this! I was worried it might be too wacky or whatever, but I'm having fun with it.

Special shout-out to Leelan and and endofeverything because I have definitely read fic on my phone in the break room at work and grinned like a manic weirdo, so I'm glad I could likewise embarrass you in front of your coworkers ;)

Let me know what you think of this chapter! Today is my saturday, so if you keep me motivated you might get another update soonish!

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><p>Poussey, Polly and Taystee were advancing slowly across the lawn behind the house in search of the woodshed Piper had mentioned. It had stopped raining, but the ground was soaked and within minutes they were squelching uncomfortably across the lawn in their wet sneakers. Overgrown hedges crossed the property in lined patterns, like an english garden gone rogue, and the three girls were currently making their way through the center of them. The fastest way to get from point A to point B was a straight line, they had reasoned, but the bizarrely laid-out shrubbery kept blocking their path and forcing them to reroute.<p>

"Hey, you guys ever read that book, _The Shining_?" Taystee whispered. "Those motherfucking hedges wouldn't let them leave the hotel."

"That is sooo not what I want to hear right now," Polly whined.

"Ow, shit!" Poussey stumbled, clutching at Taystee's arm to keep herself from falling. "Yo Polly, if you're gonna hold the flashlight could you at least point it at the ground? I can't see where I'm going!"

"Too bad! The ground is safe. I trust the ground. I _don't_ trust these fucking bushes not to conceal an axe-murderer."

"Psh, no axe required," Taystee said anxiously, "the bushes will probably murder us all on their own!"

"Y'all need to get a grip. Give me the light," Poussey demanded, pulling it from Polly's grasp. She redirected the thin beam of light onto the ground in front of them, making it easier to pick their way through the maze.

"So, um," Polly began tentatively, "you were moving the pointer on the ouija board, right?"

"What? Come on, you know that was Piper. She was being all dramatic and shit because she wanted to scare the rest of us."

"No way! You guys don't know Piper like I do. She was genuinely freaking out."

"Well then it must have been Nicky," Poussey said, defensively. "She and Piper go way back, right? She could have known about her great-grandmother's name, or whatever."

"Doubt it," Polly replied, shaking her head. "I didn't even know that, and I've know Piper since we were in diapers."

"Well... shit, I don't know, but it wasn't me."

"Look!" Taystee grabbed the flashlight and pointed it directly ahead, where the dark outline of a large structure was visible. "That must be the shed. Let's just get the firewood and get the fuck out of here."

The shed smelled damp inside, and the roof sloped dangerously, as if it were about to cave in. Luckily, the stack of split logs was covered in a tarp, so the wood was mostly dry despite leaks in the roof. Hurriedly, the girls started filling their arms with firewood and kindling. As they were working, the long, mournful cry of an animal sounded somewhere in the distance. They all froze, staring wide-eyed at one another.

"What was that?" Polly whispered.

"Sounded like a wolf," Poussey replied, swallowing nervously. "Coyote maybe."

"Oh my god, what if it's a werewolf? Shit!"

"Ain't a regular wolf bad enough?" Taystee asked in disbelief. "What is with you, girl? First you gotta add a murderer to them creepy-ass hedges, and now you conjuring up werewolves?"

"Let's just get back to the house!"

Just outside the door to the shed, they heard another howl, closer this time. For a moment they all stood still, listening, and staring round at each other. Then, in unspoken agreement, they all began sprinting fearfully across the lawn, dropping bits of kindling as they fled.

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><p>"Ladies first," Alex said, opening the basement door.<p>

"What?!" Piper hissed. "No way!"

"You scared?"

The dark-haired girl sounded infuriatingly calm to Piper, whose heart was currently going a mile a minute. When she adjusted her grip on the flashlight, she realized her palms were sweating profusely.

"Of course I am," she whispered. "Aren't you?"

Alex shrugged. "Should we rock-paper-scissors for it?" she asked, smirking. "Loser goes first. Ready? One... two... three."

Piper held her hand out flat. A split-second later, Alex made a snipping motion with her fingers.

"You cheated!"

"I would never! Rock-paper-scissors is a sacred trust. Face it kid, I won fair and square."

Piper swallowed. "Stay near me, okay?"

Instead of replying, Alex reached out and brushed Piper's waist, her fingertips sliding searchingly over the fabric of the blonde's shirt before locating Piper's limp hand and holding it fast. "Better?" she whispered.

Piper nodded. She lingered at the top of the stairs for a minute, taking several deep breaths of mental preparation. Then she took one hesitant step down, using Alex's grip to steady herself. Another step, and then another, until they reached the bottom and stepped onto the hard concrete floor of the basement. She let out another heaving breath, and Alex gave her clammy palm a reassuring squeeze.

"So far so good," the brunette praised in a hushed tone. "Any idea where the circuit breaker is?"

"No," Piper said miserably. She pointed the flashlight in a slow semi-circle around them, trying to determine which way to go. The floor was littered with taped-up boxes and old trunks, family heirlooms that the Chapmans had no room for in their regular residence. The clutter made it difficult to move in any direction. "We're going to have to fight out way through," she informed her companion, pushing a box aside with her foot.

"What is all this junk?" Alex asked, heaving at a particularly weighty old steamer trunk.

"I don't really know. I haven't been down here in years. Cal and I used to pick through this stuff on rainy days, but we got sick of it pretty fast."

"Who's Cal? Your boyfriend?"

Piper snorted. "My brother."

"Oh, good."

"Good?" She repeated, raising her eyebrows and turning around to shine her flashlight at Alex. "Why is that good?"

"No reason," the brunette replied, feigning indifference.

Shifting another box aside, Piper took several steps forward. "Alex," she began, sweetly.

"Hm?"

"Quit staring at my ass!"

Alex chuckled. She had a deep, throaty laugh that Piper couldn't help but find attractive... just like the rest of her. "Am I really that obvious?"

"You cheated at rock-paper-scissors just so you could walk behind me. It wasn't very discreet," Piper informed her.

"Well shit, Sherlock, you've got me solved! Guess I'll have to plead guilty on that one. Are you mad?"

"I mean... no, but-"

"Shall I take the lead? That way you can look at mine too, and we'll be even." Before Piper could protest, Alex had swiped the flashlight out of her hand and plunged on ahead, clearing a path through the piles of boxes so that Piper could follow her unimpeded. Piper just stood there for a minute, feeling wrong-footed and more than a little flustered by Alex's frank behavior.

"I think I see the breaker," the brunette called back, and Piper hurried forward before the flashlight was too far away and she lost the ability to see where she was going.

They found the circuit box on the far wall. Alex had already opened the door and was shining the light at the switches.

"Do you know how these work?" Piper asked, eyeing them skeptically.

"Not really. All the switches look like they're turned off, though. I think you just have to throw them back. They're labeled, see? Try the one for _'main floor'_."

With Alex holding the flashlight, Piper reached out and yanked on the switch. "Shit!" She yelped, jumping back as a shower of sparks flew outward from the circuit box.

Alex dropped the flashlight in surprise. "Fuck," she whispered, bending down to pick it up. "Are you okay, Pipes?"

"Ow, no, I'm not!" For the second time that evening, Piper found herself hopping around, clutching her had against her chest. She was more surprised than injured; the reaction was instinctual. Through her shock, however, she registered the nickname Alex had just used on her and felt her cheeks warm with pleasure. "I think I got electrocuted," she informed Alex, fishing for pity.

"Poor baby. Do you want me to kiss it?"

They stared at each other, Alex looking slightly smug and Piper suddenly shy. They were standing very close together now, and Alex reached for Piper's hand again, leaning forward so that the glow of the flashlight sprang up warmly between them. They faces moved closer together, until...

_CRASH!_

Piper shrieked. Alex wrapped an arm protectively around her waist and drew the blonde backward against her body, pointing the flashlight around to look for the source of the noise. The beam of light settled on an old cellar door, the kind that pulled opened from the outside, and the boards were flung wide into the black night beyond.

"Who's there?" She demanded, instinctively tightening her hold on Piper's waist.

"It's us!" came Taystee's voice. A flashlight shone down from the cellar door, and then then she, Poussey and Polly clambered into view, still clutching stacks of firewood.

Alex relaxed slightly, letting go of Piper. "What. The fuck?" She demanded.

"Are you guys insane?" Piper shouted, furiously. "I almost just died of a heart attack! You could have killed me, Polly!"

"Sorry! Is the breaker working?"

"No! It fucking electrocuted me, actually, so that's the second time I've almost died in the last five minutes!"

"Did you guys get the firewood, or did you wimp out?" Alex asked, coldly.

"Shut up, Vause," Poussey replied, in an equally icy tone. "We got the fucking wood."

Polly giggled. "That sounds kind of dir-"

"Christ," Alex interrupted, rolling her eyes. "Let's just go back upstairs and see if they found any matches."

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><p>In the kitchen, Lorna was sitting on the counter with the flashlight in hand while Nicky dug through the cabinets. So far their search had turned up a few tapered dinner candles, but not much else.<p>

"You're really not going to help?" Nicky asked, pausing to glare at Lorna.

The brunette swung her dangling feet back and forth over the edge of the counter, leaning back on one hand and looking thoroughly relaxed. "I am helping," she said, happily. "I'm holding the flashlight! You know, this same thing happened to me and Christopher once. There was a big storm, and the power went out, and we were stuck in the dark. We lit candles, it was so romantic!"

Nicky rolled her eyes, turning her back on the other girl. "Enough about fucking Christopher. If he's so in love with you, how come I've never met him?"

"I told you," Lorna said patiently, "he goes to _boarding_ school."

"Oh, really? Is it all boys?"

"Yep!"

"Well then, maybe you're _both_ gay," Nicky said scathingly.

Lorna frowned, and purposefully turned off the flashlight.

"Hey, what the fuck?" Nicky said angrily, turning around. "I'm sorry, okay. Just turn it back on, geeze."

"I'm not gay," Lorna said defensively, still holding the light hostage.

"Okay, whatever. So when we made out in the bathroom at my mom's labor day party, it was completely hetero." Nicky said, shrugging. "When are you going to tell him that you're cheating on him?"

"I'm not cheating," Lorna replied, switching the flashlight back on. "Kissing isn't cheating. Besides, it's good practice."

"Yeah, maybe he's practicing too. With some rugby player at his pansy fucking boarding school!"

Lorna hopped off the counter in a huff. "You can find the stupid candles on your own!" She said, heading for the door. She had almost reached it when they heard a loud _CRASH!_ come from the basement, and Lorna paused, suddenly frightened.

"Shit!" Nicky whispered. "Vause and Chapman are down there! Let's go!"

They hurried back out through the living room and down the hall to the basement. The door at the top of the stairs was still open, and Nicky took the flashlight and immediately started clambering down the stairs. "You guys okay?" she called out, reaching the bottom with Lorna right behind her. She directed the thin beam of light searchingly around the room, until it settled upon the group of girls clustered in the corner.

"Jesus Nichols, yell a little louder next time," Poussey commented dryly.

"Oh wow, _sorry_ for wanting to make sure none of you had died. Next time I'll just put a kettle on the stove and wait for you to come to tea! What the fuck are you guys doing down here?"

"Having an orgy, obviously," Alex replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You wanna join, or are we going back upstairs?"

Muttering mutinously to each other, the girls turned around and began traipsing back up the steps. Within a few minutes they were back in the massive living room. Taystee, Poussey, and Polly dumped their armfuls of firewood down on the flagstone hearth, glad to be relieved of their burden.

"Alright, who's got the matches?" Taystee asked, rubbing her palms together. "Let's get this bitch going."

"No matches," Nicky replied dully.

"Couldn't find them," Lorna added, cheerfully.

"There have to be matches here somewhere," Piper put in. "Has anyone checked upstairs? Maybe in one of the bathrooms. Or Cal's room, he's always lighting things on fire by accident."

"I guess we'd better split up again," Alex said evenly

"Great. Let's go, _Piper_," Polly cut in, pointedly, before Alex could pair herself up with Piper again. "We'll check Cal's room." She grabbed her best friend by the hand and dragged her toward the staircase, as the rest of the group followed suit.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, the response to this story has blown me away! I guess I've found my calling in weird sketchy humor fics? I didn't plan for this to be very long. Probably just one, maybe two more chapters, in order to wrap everything up. But please continue to leave reviews! They totally make my day. **

P.S. I know Polly is kind of annoying, but I feel like she still has her part to play in the story.

P.P.S. I wrote nearly 4,500 words today, which is definitely a personal record. So don't say I never give ya nothin' c:

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><p>"So, um, what do you think of Alex?" Piper asked in a whisper, as she and Polly made their way down the second floor hallway. The rest of the group had split off to check the other rooms on the floor, leaving the pair of them to investigate Cal's bedroom at the end of the hall.<p>

"Well I wouldn't be surprised if she's behind this whole thing, honestly," Polly replied darkly.

"What?! That's crazy, why would you even say that?"

"Ughhh! Because!" Polly stopped walking abruptly, turning to point the flashlight in Piper's face.

"Ow, Pol, I can't see!"

She lowered the flashlight just enough so that it was no longer blinding her friend. "You can't really be that oblivious, Piper! Alex clearly orchestrated this whole outage just so she could get you alone in the basement. She's such a creeper!"

_"What? _Oh my god," Piper said, comprehension dawning on her. "You're jealous."

"Jesus, fuck off!" Polly shoved the flashlight forward so that it whacked Piper square in the chest. "I'm just looking out for you!"

"Really? Because you just hit me in the boob!" Piper said in a wounded tone, gently massaging the aforementioned area. "Alex isn't a creeper, okay? She's... nice."

"Nice?"

"Okay, she's hot."

"Oh, _gross_." Polly rolled her eyes and started walking again. "I'm just saying, I don't trust her."

"Whatever."

The reached Calvin's room and pushed at the door. It swung open slowly with an eerie, forbidding creak. The first thing they noticed was the pattern of glow-in-the-dark stars strewn around the walls, which a ten-year-old Cal had arranged with precision into an exact, to-scale replica of the Milky Way galaxy. It made Piper feel oddly comforted; it was the only room in the house so far that contained any personal touches, and it made the darkness around them seem less forbidding. Polly directed the flashlight around the room, illuminating the things Cal left behind when the summer was over; a telescope he'd ordered off an infomercial using their dad's credit card; a glass case that was supposed to house an ant colony but was now empty; a pile of sheets and blankets on the unmade bed. The sight made Piper smile.

"What's that smell?" Polly asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Teenage boy, I guess?" Piper replied with a shrug. "I feel bad about going through his stuff."

"This is an emergency. Besides, I'm sure he's stolen shit from your room before too."

"True. Okay, let's check the desk."

They picked through the drawers thoroughly, but found little of interest and nothing of use; same with the closet. Jars full of dead bugs were in abundance, as well as some weird sculpture made of popsicle sticks and gum wrappers, but there were no matches to be found.

"Wait a minute," Piper said suddenly, clapping her hand against her forehead. "I'm so stupid! Polly, keep looking and meet me back at the stairs in five!"

"What? But you don't have a flashlight!"

"I'll be fine!" She called over her shoulder, already hurrying down the hall toward her own bedroom. She couldn't see very well, but she felt her way down the hall and curled her fingers around the familiar doorknob, opening it quickly and stepping inside.

She'd just remembered that last summer she'd spent several weeks in the company of a guy from the nearby town, and among his many mature and foreign (to Piper) qualities was the fact that he smoked (her parents had not approved), which meant that he carried a lighter around. On the last night they'd spent together she had borrowed it and neglected to give it back, which meant that it was still in her room somewhere, buried with the rest of the memories of summer. Feeling triumphant about her sudden remembrance of this, Piper began digging through her chest of drawers, shuffling through the extra clothes and things she'd left behind and feeling around for the lighter.

Suddenly, something reached out of the dark and grabbed her by the shoulder.

She had no time to scream before an open palm clapped over her mouth, stifling her panicked cry. All the breath seemed to leave her body at once, and her limbs were paralyzed with fright.

"Shhh," a low voice whispered. "It's just me."

Piper gasped, wide-eyed, as the hand covering her mouth disappeared. Her heart was hammering, and it took several seconds for her to find her voice.

"Why. The fuck. Would you _do_ that?" She demanded, whirling around on Alex, punctuating the final syllables of her sentence with a forceful shove.

"Easy there, Pipes," Alex said, with a husky chuckle of amusement.

"It's not funny!" the blonde hissed, shoving her again.

"Hey, woah!" Alex grabbed Piper's hands, pinning them to the blonde's sides to protect herself from further aggression. "I'm sorry, okay? I just heard you in here, and I couldn't help myself."

"Did you cut the power?" Piper demanded, suddenly suspicious. Polly's words echoed in her ear. _'I don't trust her.'_

"What? Are you fucking kidding me? Piper, we were all sitting in the living room when the power went out. We were _holding hands_, I think we would have noticed if someone stood up and left. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing," Piper muttered. Alex was right, it was ridiculous to suspect her, or any of the other girls, of trickery. They were all friends; well, Nicky's friends, anyway. Polly was just being weird because she didn't know them.

"Seriously, are you okay?" Alex asked, with seemingly genuine concern. She released Piper's hands and raised one of her own; delicately, she brushed a lock of blonde out of Piper's eyes, tucking it behind her ear.

"No," Piper whispered, leaning into the other girl's touch. Alex's thumb brushed warmly against her cheek. She could see nothing but vague outlines in the dark room, and was therefore surprised when Alex's lips were suddenly pressed against her own. The kiss was achingly gentle, as if meant to give comfort rather than pleasure. Alex's mouth was soft and sweet against hers, and when the brunette pulled away she left Piper breathless in her wake.

"How about now?" Alex asked, teasingly, and Piper could feel the brunette's warm breath against her cheek.

"I'm not sure," Piper replied, trying to mask the absurd cacophony of her heartbeat by holding her voice steady. "Maybe we should try it again."

Alex slid one hand up the side of Piper's neck in response, letting it rest against her jaw and just below her ear; she placed the other against the curve of the blonde's hip to draw her closer. This time the kiss was firmer and more insistent; their mouths parted, and Alex's tongue darted boldly between them before beating a teasing retreat. By the time they separated again they were both breathing hard, their skin warm and cheeks flushed.

Alex cleared her throat. "Well. That was, um..."

"... yeah," Piper agreed. She stepped back, thinking that if they didn't put some distance between them it would become all too tempting to lock themselves in here for the rest of the night.

"So this is your room?" Alex asked, clearly looking for something to distract herself.

"Yeah, it's- oh! Shit, I was supposed to be looking for my lighter!" she said, suddenly remembering why she'd run in here in the first place.

"You smoke?" the brunette asked, sounding mildly surprised.

"No," Piper conceded. "I mean it's not really mine, but- yes! Here it is!" She waved it forth triumphantly, elbowing Alex in the side of the head as she did so. "Shit, I'm sorry! I really can't see anything, I didn't know you were there."

"It's fine," Alex lied, wincing and clutching the side of now-throbbing skull. "Let's go get that fire started."

* * *

><p>They rounded up the rest of the girls on their way back down the hallway, and all of them descended the staircase together, laughing and joking. The prospect of a warm, bright fire had improved the general mood considerably.<p>

"Who wants to do the honors?" Taystee asked, as they approached the fireplace.

"Shit," Nicky said, pulling up short.

"What?" Piper asked anxiously, peering around. "What's wrong?"

"Look!"

The firewood was sitting in a pool of water, every piece of it apparently drenched and now unusable. There was a shocked silence during which all the girls attempted to process this demoralizing news.

"You really shouldn't have carried that back in the rain," Lorna said, with a condescending sigh.

"We didn't!" Poussey replied, angrily. She bent down to lift one of the logs; water dripped down the length of it, and Poussey dropped it in disgust. "It wasn't even raining by the time we walked back! We've been fucking sabotaged!"

"I knew it!" Polly whirled around to point her flashlight at Alex, a clear gesture of accusation.

"You think I did this?" Alex asked, incredulously. "No way! I have an alibi!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! I was with Piper."

"She was," Piper said quickly. "Alex didn't do it!"

"Well what about when you and I were searching Cal's room, hmmm?" Polly began pointing her flashlight at each of the girls in turn. "Were any of you with her?"

"I was with Poussey," Taystee said, "looking around some office or library or some shit." She spread her palms as if to demonstrate that she had nothing to hide.

"Nicky and I were together the whole time," Lorna chimed in.

"Aha!" Polly crowed, triumphantly.

"Jesus Christ, I was in the fucking bathroom!" Alex said, furiously. "This is stupid! There's no way to prove that _any_ of us did it. And none of us would have a reason to!"

"But if none of _us_ did it," Piper said, quietly, "then who did?"

The question was followed by a tense silence.

"Shit," Taystee whispered. "Shit. You don't think...the ouija board... it couldn't be a _ghost_, right?"

"There's no such thing as ghosts!" Nicky hissed, annoyed.

"Well, were you moving the pointer on the ouija board earlier?" Poussey demanded.

"No!"

"Then how do you explain it moving? Because it wasn't Piper, and it sure as fuck wasn't me!"

"Maybe we should try it again," Lorna suggested. "Maybe it's a friendly ghost! We could just ask it to stop being mean."

"Are you kidding me?" Alex asked, disbelieving. "You think we're being haunted by fucking Casper the Friendly Ghost? You're all insane! Let's just light some candles, spread out our sleeping bags, and wait until morning. We can figure this whole thing out when the sun comes up."

"What do you think, Piper?" Taystee asked. The three flashlights all turned to shine on the fearful-looking blonde. "This is your family's house. You think it's haunted?"

"I... I don't-"

"Get the ouija board," Poussey said, decisively. "Unless someone has a better idea, we might as well try it."

Nobody contradicted her.

"I'll get the candles," Nicky said, sighing in resignation. "But I would like to reiterate, for the mentally impaired in the room, that there's no such thing as ghosts."

Her words hung ominously in the air as they all moved slowly about the dark space, preparing themselves to attempt another séance.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Soooo obviously I didn't finish this by Halloween, haha. I tried, but I wrote too much too fast and burned myself out. Anyway, one more short chapter after this should wrap things up. Thank you so much for reading, following, and reviewing. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The girls had gone out to retrieve more firewood, deciding that it was a worth a second trip in order to gain a little light and warmth. It was getting cold in the cottage now, since the old boiler barely worked and Piper's dad didn't want to bother fixing the heat in a house no one occupied over the winter. Piper had stayed behind to make sure no further sabotage attempts were made on the candles or any of their other possessions; and of course, Alex had volunteered to stay with her on the pretext that there was safety in numbers.<p>

Piper finished lighting the last candle, pleased to have a source of light that didn't depend on battery power. She could hear Alex approaching behind her.

"Well isn't this cozy?" she purred, from somewhere very close to Piper's right ear.

"Cut it out," Piper said irritably, pulling away. To say that the prospect of another chat with the supposed ghost of her great-great grandmother had her on edge would be an understatement.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, frowning slightly as she walked around the corner of the sofa to sit down next to the blonde. "You don't really believe in this stuff, do you? Ghosts and spirits and whatever?"

"I don't know," Piper muttered, turning her face away in embarrassment. If she'd been asked that question twelve hours ago, her answer would have been unequivocally negative. But Halloween always blurred the lines between the logical and the fanciful, and after everything that had happened here tonight Piper was less certain in her skepticism. No one seemed able to explain why the ouija board had spelled out the name of her relative, and she was the only person in the room who even knew that information. Then there was freak storm, the power outage, the soaked firewood... it was all a little too uncanny to be comfortably ignored.

"C'mon, Piper, it's not real. You're letting Holly get you all worked up over nothing."

"Would you please stop pretending you don't know Polly's name?" Piper replied, annoyed. "The two of you have been at each other's throats all night!"

"She keeps blaming me for shit I didn't do!" Alex retorted. "Are the two of you, like... more than friends? Because she seems a little jealous."

"Me and Polly? Ew, no! She just thinks your behavior is kind of weird. And, I mean, she has a point. You _do_ keep conspiring to get me alone with you."

"Ah, so you've noticed, have you?" Alex replied, teasingly. She lifted her glasses, pushing them up to rest on the top of her head, and leaned in to kiss Piper again. She was pleased to find that the blonde responded positively despite her bad mood; she tangled her fingers in Alex's hair, pulling the brunette toward her with a sense of urgency clearly magnified by her frayed nerves. As much as Alex appreciated this surprising ardor, she felt weird about taking advantage of Piper's vulnerable state. After a long and pleasurable minute, she pulled reluctantly away from Piper's lips and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"You're shivering," she informed the blonde, grinning triumphantly.

"Don't look so smug," Piper replied, smiling back despite herself. "It's freezing in here."

"Hang on," Alex said quickly, getting up to retrieve something from her backpack. She returned with a sweatshirt slung over her arm, and offered it gallantly to the girl she'd just been making out with.

"Thanks," Piper said, accepting the sweatshirt gratefully. When she pulled it on over her head she noticed that the fabric smelled vaguely like vanilla and soap and something unidentifiably Alex. It was comfortably large on her thin frame, and wonderfully soft where it touched her bare skin.

"Looks good on you," Alex said, reached out to smooth Piper's disheveled hair and then cupping her chin to pull her forward into another kiss.

They were rudely interrupted a moment later, however, when the rest of the girls tramped in through the back door.

"Hey, lesbians," Nicky sneered, completely ruining the moment. "How about you keep your pants on long enough to help us with this shit?"

Alex rolled her eyes, pulling her glasses off the top of her head and replacing them on her face so she could see better. "Fuck off, Nicky. I didn't say anything earlier when I walked in on you sucking Lorna's neck like a fucking vampire. Your technique could use some work, by the way."

Piper and Lorna both looked mortified, but Nicky just laughed. "Touché, Vause. Help me get the fire started."

Taystee turned her gaze suspiciously on Poussey and Polly. "Please tell me the two of you haven't been making out when my back is turned," she said, eyes narrowed.

"Ew!" Polly's face contorted in disgust.

"Fuck no!" Poussey chorused.

"I'm not gay," Polly added, hastily.

"I mean y'all can do what you want," Taystee continued, "but let's save the weird horny shit for after we deal with the weird ghost shit, ya feel me?"

This request was generally agreed to by all, and they resumed preparation to make contact with the ghostly spirit. Within a few minutes they had a nice warm fire going, and they dragged the coffee table nearer to the hearth and clustered around it.

"Maybe we should arrange the candles into one of those star shapes," Lorna suggested brightly.

"A pentagram?" Poussey asked, skeptically.

"If you two want to play Buffy the Vampire Slayer, do it on your own time," Nicky said impatiently. "Besides, we only have four candles. Let's just get this over with. Piper, give me your hand."

"No."

"What? Come on, you have to! It's _you_ that the ghost is trying to communicate with!"

"If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't have to," Alex said firmly. "You said it yourself, Nicky, there isn't any ghost."

At that moment, a rumble of thunder sounded in the distance.

"What a coincidence," Nicky observed. "Give me your hand, Piper."

"Fine," the blonde snapped. She placed her fingertips on the pointer alongside Nicky's and Poussey's as the room was momentary illuminated by a flash of lightening.

"A'ight," Poussey began, taking a deep breath. "We call upon the-"

Her words were cut off by the sudden sound of a bell tolling; the huge grandfather clock set against the side of the stairwell had begun to sound deep, thunderous chimes, causing them all to jump in surprise.

"Midnight," Polly whispered, breathlessly.

They stared at each other, fearfully, waiting for the tolling bell to subside. When it finally faded into silence, Poussey wasted no time launching into her invocation.

"We call upon the spirits of this house, at midnight on All Hallow's Eve. The uh, the witching hour," she added, uncertainly. "We need to speak to the spirit Regina. Are you there?"

The pointer began to slide across the board. Piper broke into a cold sweat, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end as the planchette settled on the word _"yes." _

"Are you-" Poussey began, but stopped abruptly when the pointer jerked away from its position, now sliding across the smooth wood to settle instead on the word _"no."_

"What does that mean?" Piper whispered in confusion.

"It means Nicky's moving the pointer," Alex said immediately.

"We've already been through this," Nicky replied, annoyed. "Nobody's moving the pointer!"

"Shhh!" Poussey hissed. "Regina, are you there?" She repeated, and then held her breath, watching the board carefully. Once again the pointer slid over to _"yes"_ before returning to stop at _"no."_

Thunder struck again, louder and closer this time.

"Okay, well, uh... Regina, are we in danger?" Again, the pointer gave contradictory answers. "Is one of the spirits of this house angry with us?" she asked, trying a different tact.

This time the pointer slid away from the two words at the corners of the board and began to move among the letters of the alphabet. They all held their breath, following the pointer with their eyes and reading the letters aloud as it went.

A... N... D... P? ... E... G...X?

"I think this board is broken," Taystee observed, sounding unimpressed.

"Alright, alright, uh... is this house haunted?"

The response to this question was more gibberish.

Lorna looked confused. Alex began to laugh, and Piper felt her body start to relax with relief. Nicky and Poussey stared at each for a moment with confused and disappointed looks on their faces, and then withdrew their hands simultaneously.

"There's your answer," Alex said, smugly, when she stopped finally laughing. "The whole thing was a load of crap right from the beginning."

"You think the Regina thing was a coincidence?" Piper asked quickly.

Polly sighed in frustration. "What about all the other freaky shit that happened?"

"What, you mean the power going out? That usually happens in a lightening storm," Alex observed, dryly.

"I guess we got a little carried away," Taystee concluded, smiling sheepishly around the circle.

Thunder rumbled again, and rain began to drum upon the roof, but the sound was no longer ominous. It was kind of... friendly. Comforting, like the kind of low-intensity storm you listen to while you curl up in your favorite armchair with a good book. With the candles flickering merrily and the fire radiating heat, the darkness of the cottage was much less intimidating than it had been an hour ago, and Piper felt suddenly embarrassed for having gotten so wound-up about it. The faulty séance just proved what they all already knew; there was no such thing as ghosts, or haunted houses.

"You know what's weird, though?" Polly said, suddenly. "It's not actually midnight."

Poussey checked her watch. "You're right. It's only 10:30."

"That clock is pretty old," Piper said, shrugging. "It probably needs to be rewound."

"I need a drink," Nicky groaned, getting up from the table. "Where's that bottle of vodka?"

* * *

><p>They shoved the coffee table back into its original position by the sofa, and then spread out their sleeping bags near the hearth to create a comfortable nest. Soon they were passing the bottle around, fortifying their damaged nerves with alcohol and an entire bag of Snickers bars.<p>

"Let's play a game," Polly suggested.

"Strip poker?" Nicky said with a sly grin, looking directly at Alex, who had her arm slung casually over Piper's shoulder so that her hand dangled very close to the blonde's chest.

"Spin the bottle?" She shot back, looking from Nicky to Lorna with her eyebrows raised.

"Maybe we should find a measuring tape," Taystee mused, "so the two of you can settle this."

"I think we all know Alex is taller," Lorna said, looking perplexed.

"That's not what I-"

_"Do you guys hear that?"_ Polly interrupted.

There was a creaking sound above them, and a dull thud moving across the floor, as if someone was walking down the hall. Suddenly the warm and carefree atmosphere turned dark once again, and Piper felt Alex's arm tighten around her shoulder.

"Someone's up there," Taystee whispered, sounding awed. "Shit, it _is_ haunted!"

"What should we do?" Piper asked, her voice rising in panic.

"Get the flashlights," Nicky hissed urgently. They all got hurriedly to their feet. The footsteps seemed to have stopped; but then a moment later there was a louder, heavier thud, as if something had crashed to the floor above them.

"We have to go up there," Poussey said grimly.

"What?" Piper looked genuinely startled by this logic. "No, we have to call the police!"

"C'mon, Piper, it's probably nothing," Alex said, trying to sound reassuring. There was, however, a slightly worried note in her tone. "Something probably just fell off a shelf. Hey, wait!"

Poussey was already making her way across the living room toward the stairs, flashlight in hand.

"Shit, girl, you can't go up there alone!" Taystee said urgently, following her friend.

"We should all go," Polly said, and then looked around impressively, as if challenging the other girls to contradict her. When nobody did, she followed Poussey and Taystee to the stairs, and everyone else fell in behind them.

They ascended the stairs one step at a time, pausing with bated breath each time to listen for sounds of movement on the floor above. They stopped on the landing, straining their ears and sweeping the thin beams of their flashlights across the dark space of the hallway. There was a muffled sound coming from the end of the hall, like something being dragged across the floor.

"That's my brother's room," Piper whispered, horrified. "I don't remember closing the door. Polly, did you close the door?"

Polly shook her head. They stared at each other, wide-eyed. None of them was inclined to take another step, except for Poussey who seemed determined to prove that the house was indeed haunted, no matter the personal safety risks involved. With a sense of dread, the rest of the girls followed her reluctantly forward. Finally they stopped in front of the door, listening for movement on the other side. All was quiet. Poussey extended a trembling hand, wrapping her fingers around the doorknob. She glanced at Taystee, who hesitated before nodding her head. Gathering her courage, Poussey turned the knob and swung the door open, turning her flashlight upon the dark room.

The beam of light illuminated a dark silhouette, and everyone screamed.


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone screamed, except for Piper, who tore the flashlight out of Poussey's hand and held it aloft, illuminating the face of the not-so-mysterious intruder. She couldn't quite believe what she was seeing; and yet it was so predictable that she was mentally kicking herself for not realizing it sooner.

"Cal?" She said incredulously, taking several quick steps forward to get a clearer look.

"Agh, Piper, don't shine that thing in my eyes!" her brother replied plaintively, shading his gaze with the palm of his hand. He was standing next to an overturned box of junk that he'd clearly dropped a minute before, causing the loud thump that the girls had heard from the floor below.

"Yo what the fuck is going on?" Taystee seemed to speak for all of the girls, whose faces shared a look of bewilderment.

Piper ignored them. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, glaring furiously at her brother. "Mom _told_ you that you weren't allowed to come with us!"

"Actually, _you_ told Mom I wasn't allowed. And then I told Mom you changed your mind. And I kind of... stowed away in the trunk of your car?"

"Cal, Jesus! What were you thinking?"

"Uh... that it would be fun?" Her brother said tentatively, and then offered her a crooked smile. Really, she didn't know why she'd bothered to ask. Cal always had a penchant for mischief, and a knack for complicating events that should have gone off without a hitch. He had a tendency to create chaos, intentionally or not. It wasn't that her brother had a mean streak, or was actively looking to ruin people's day; it was just that he had a weird sense of amusement that few others in the family seemed to share.

"Ughhh! You are such a tag-along!" Piper whined accusingly, clearly having none of his attempted charm. "You're always trying to crash my parties! Why can't you just hang out with your own friends?"

"Wow, this some Family Feud shit," Taystee commented, as understanding dawned on her.

"Nah," Poussey shook her head, "You ever even watch that show? Family Feud pits two different families against each other, not people from the same family!"

"Oh please, that don't-"

"Cal," Polly interrupted, glaring at the other two impatiently. "Have you been playing pranks on us all night? The power outage, the firewood sabotage?"

"Oh, yeah, that was me!" Cal said proudly. "And the grandfather clock. I thought the bell would add to the spooky atmosphere."

Piper seemed too incensed to speak. She opened her mouth to yell at him, but nothing came out. Cal, taking her silence as an opportunity, quickly interrupted. "It was fun though, right? I mean, Trick or Treat! Everyone forgets about the trick. I thought it would fun to make, like, a Halloween _experience._ This is going to be so memorable, Piper! One for the ages, you know?"

"It was kind of fun," Lorna admitted, looking around at the other girls for confirmation.

"Yeah," Poussey said slowly, "I guess it was."

"Mom and Dad are going to kill you," Piper said icily.

"Only if you tell them," Cal replied, in a cautiously hopeful tone.

"If you think you're getting away with this, you've got-"

"C'mon, Piper," Alex cut in in soothingly. "It _was_ kind of fun. And he said he was sorry. Let's just let it go."

"Oh, that's nice. That's just great, Alex. Gang up on me with my little brother, why don't you?"

"Calm your tits, Piper," Nicky advised sagely. "You heard the lady, it's not a big deal. In fact, tonight has been kind of... awesome."

"Fine. _Fine_. I won't tell them." Piper glared across the dark room at her brother's relieved face. "But you better not pull any more shit tonight."

"Scouts honor," Cal promised, arranging his fingers in what was supposed to be the scout symbol but instead resembled the hand gesture for 'rock on'. "You won't even know I'm here. Quiet as a mouse. Completely invisible. Totally-"

"I get it," Piper said, coldly.

* * *

><p>The rest of the night went by without further incident, although the power never did come back on. It was warm and cozy down in the living room with the fire burning, and now that the creepy pranks were over the atmosphere was much more enjoyable. For a while after the confrontation with Cal, Piper had maintained a stony silence. But after spending an hour next to the warm fire and drinking a little more than her share of alcohol, even she began to relax - especially because Alex had strategically placed her sleeping bag right next to the blonde's, and then spent the rest of the night flirting shamelessly and letting her hands wander absently toward Piper's back, her waist, her thigh...<p>

... she couldn't remember falling asleep, but she woke up the next morning with her face pressed against the back of Alex's shoulder, feeling more content than she had since summer ended.

They all packed up to leave around mid-morning, since they hadn't brought anything to eat for breakfast and hunger was beginning to take its toll. Cal and Polly were already in her car, ready to go. Piper had just finished stuffing her sleeping bag back into its sleeve and was carrying it outside when she ran into Alex, who had just come back in through the front door.

"I decided to wait it out in here," Alex said, by way of explanation.

"Wait what out?" Piper asked, setting her sleeping bag down by the foot of the stairs.

"Nicky and Lorna's makeout session," the brunette replied, folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the bannister. "I don't know how they do it. There's no room to maneuver in the front seat, Lorna's ass is practically on the dashboard."

They both laughed, and then, catching each other's gaze, trailed off awkwardly.

"So..." Piper said, to fill the silence.

"So," Alex repeated, grinning. "Thanks for inviting me to your parents swanky summer house."

"Technically, I didn't invite you. Nicky did."

"I'll have to thank Nicky later, then. You're still wearing my sweatshirt," she commented, looking amused and little bit pleased.

"Oh." Piper looked down and realized it was true; she'd put it back on when she woke up this morning in front of the cold hearth, and then hadn't felt inclined to take it off again. "Sorry, here." She grabbed one of the sleeves with her opposite hand and made to pull it off, but Alex shook her head.

"No, you should keep it. It looks good on you."

"Maybe... maybe I could give it back to you... another time," Piper said tentatively, biting her lip.

Alex's eyebrows lifted, and she smiled smugly. "Piper Chapman, are you asking me out?"

"I mean, only if you want to," the blonde said, casually, feigning a sudden interest in the carpeting at her feet.

"Give me your hand," Alex demanded, producing a pen out of nowhere. She held Piper's wrist gently on top of her palm, scrawling the digits of her phone number onto the back of the blonde's hand. "There. Call me sometime. If you want," she added, nonchalantly.

Piper felt her cheeks growing warm. Before she could say anything further to embarrass herself, she hefted her sleeping bag and carried it past Alex, out to the car. A few minutes later Nicky and Lorna had managed to unglue themselves from each other, and Alex, Poussey, and Taystee crammed themselves into the back of Nicky's car. Piper watched them drive away before locking the door to the cottage, bidding it farewell until next spring. Then she slid into the driver's seat next to Polly, who gave her a lingering look.

"What?" Piper demanded.

"Nothing," Polly said, in an infuriatingly sweet voice.

Piper rolled her eyes, but when she turned the keys in the ignition and the radio came out she found herself smiling.

It had been _quite_ a Halloween.

* * *

><p><strong>A few final notes:<strong> Thank you guys so much for reading, and for all of your feedback! I wanted to write a fic for Halloween that would be suspenseful and maybe a little creepy, but also make you laugh and appeal to your little shipper hearts, so I hope it did that. (Sorry the last update took so long to post, I've just been super busy irl)

If you liked my narrative style you can check out my longer, in-progress fic, Dreams We Don't Admit to Having. The plot & tone of that story are pretty different than this one, but they're kind of similar in that they're both written by me?

Katiespeak21 asked, "Would you be willing to write other themed fics around other holidays?" Answer: yes! I had a ton of fun writing this one, so yes, absolutely. I'll even consider prompt ideas if you send them! Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away, so keep your eyes peeled for something around then.

Please do leave any final comments in the reviews, or feel free to send me a message. Thanks again for reading!


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